


Garden of Eatin'

by fairgraves



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Eden's Gate Cult, F/M, Garden of Eatin' AU, Gen, diner au, headcanons & one shots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairgraves/pseuds/fairgraves
Summary: The Seeds have moved to Hope County and set up a new diner called Garden of Eatin' across from Rook's sandwich shop, much to her endless displeasure.(Or, an AU in which the Seeds are mostly normal and have come to Hope County to start anew. This will encapsulate both headcanons of the AU and short chapters based on the headcanons.)





	1. headcanons

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1: Headcanons for the AU  
> Chapter 2: One Shot - Trivia Night

This AU came to me when I started thinking about what would have happened if the Seeds had never gone crazy... In my mind, this still means that a lot of the Seeds' backstory remains the same: the Seeds had horrible parents, Jacob did burn down their foster parent's barn, John did get beaten by his adoptive parents, and Joseph did lose his wife in the accident. The only things that would be different in this AU are that some of the worst things never occurred: no Jacob cannabalizing his friend (although he was in the war and did get PTSD); no hearing the voice and baby-killing, so Joseph's daughter is still alive and no cult was created; John didn't become a maniac obsessed with cutting sins into people; and all the past Faiths are still alive with their original names intact (e.g. the Faith we see in game is called her original name "Rachel" in this, and the other Faiths - Lana and Selena - are also waitresses at Garden of Eatin').

 

Joseph owns a diner called  **Garden of Eatin’**. It’s a family business so:

  * John greets and seats customers who, after he’s gone, ask each other, “Was it just me or was he really creepy?”
  * Faith is the waitress who dupes people into giving  _really_ good tips - Sharky gave her a $20 tip on a five-dollar order once
  * Jacob is the cook (so you better not send his food back -  _or else_ )



Nick Rye is a former customer who leaves a bad yelp review about the watery mac n’ cheese

 

Rook names their diner sandwich shop across the street PAYBACK’S A ‘WICH.

 

Rook hires Hurk as the guy who wears the sandwich board and stands out front enticing customers to come in. He’s surprisingly effective. 

 

After Sharky realizes Faith has been shaking him down, he wanders across the street to stand with Hurk. He’s not getting paid. He just likes hanging out. 

 

Sharky heckles John from across the street because, “That guy is a fuckin’ asshole, dude.” 

 

Wheaty works the counter during the summer when school is out. He’s in charge of the cash register and the music.

 

Eli Palmer is a regular at Payback’s a ‘Wich. He keeps coming back because Rook always has his order ready, and more importantly, he has an insane crush on her and doesn’t know how to ask her out. 

 

Tweak’s in the alley out back of Payback’s a ‘Wich hawking ~oregano~. 

 

Sharky’s got a crush on Grace. He asked her what kind of men she was into - you know to test the waters - and she told him the strong, silent type. When he’s not hanging out with Hurk in front of Payback’s a ‘Wich or blowing shit up at the Moonflower Trailer Park, he’s lifting weights. He’ll never be the silent type, but one day he’ll impress Grace. He’s like 62% sure of it. 

 

Mayor Virgil Minkler declared July 17th “Rook Day” after Rook completed all the Clutch Nixon stunts in the county. She was the first person to complete them all since Clutch Nixon himself.

 

Rook really enjoys messing with John. Like A LOT.  

  * In the winter, when she sees him across the street in his fancy coat, she’ll chuck a snowball his way and then hide when it connects with his back. He’ll immediately fly into a rage and run into the Garden of Eatin’. Rook assumes that he’s going to hide inside…
  * But it’s all fun and games until Jacob gets involved. He can throw snowballs farther, has a slightly better aim (not that Rook would ever admit that, thank you very much), and he’s absolutely ruthless.
  * Once Jacob hit Rook square in the face with a snowball. Physically she was fine - he didn’t fastball it her way or anything - but her pride was hurt when John saw and doubled over in a fit of laughter. Faith ran out of Garden of Eatin’ to see if Rook was okay and to scold Jacob. Jacob only cracked a smile and walked back into the Garden of Eatin’. 
  * Later as Rook is closing up Payback’s a ‘Wich, Jacob runs across the street to apologize for hitting her in the face. She curses him out. And when he offers to teach her how to throw with a smug grin on his face, she chases him off, as he laughs. It’s the first time she’s ever heard him laugh.



 

Adelaide started a new ladies-only flying club. Right now, it’s Kim Rye, Rook, and Adelaide, but that’s good enough for them!  Whenever Kim tells Nick she’s going out with the club, he always yells after her as she leaves, “ROOK IS MY FRIEND TOO KIM! YOU CAN’T HAVE HER ALL TO YOURSELF!”

 

Mary-May over at the Spread Eagle hosts a bi-weekly trivia contest. Joseph created his own team and it includes his brothers, Faith (Rachel), and Lana (a former Faith in the game). They go up against Rook, Nick and Kim Rye, Jess Black, and Larry Parker. Joseph’s team is best at answering questions about religion, military history, and music.

 

Joseph is unbelievably patient with the kooks from Hope County. He listens to Zip Kupka’s conspiracy theories about the lack of baby animals in the forest when he sees him around town and was the first person to sign up for Zip’s newsletter. He is also friendly with Larry Parker and inquires about Anne when he sees him at the Spread Eagle. Although he’d never admit it, he’s pretty sure Anne is a made-up girlfriend.

 

Joseph personally delivers Ms. Mable’s meals when she orders from Garden of Eatin’ despite the fact that Garden of Eatin’ is a diner, not a frigging Meals on Wheels. John asked why he bothered and Joseph told him that she was old, she had pushed everyone away, and he felt bad for her. John reminds him she pushed everyone away because she’s a horrible human being to which Joseph responded, “Even mean old broads deserve to eat, John.” John was shocked that Joseph had even called Ms. Mable mean, to be honest.

 

Fall’s End End of Summer Block Party – Fall’s End Main Street is lined with merchants selling food

  * Garden of Eatin’ is selling comfort food and some barbecue type foods (Nick to Rook: “Hopefully their barbecue wings are better than the Mac N’ Cheese.”)
  * Payback’s a ‘Wich is selling wraps and BLTs
  * Rae Rae is selling caramel apples
  * Spread Eagle is selling Testy Festy foods
  * Chad Wolanski is selling turkey legs



Jacob crosses Main to Church to walk home when the fireworks begin to go off. Rook notices him walk by her, as she’s got her back to the brick of her store and watching the fireworks. She notices he’s upset and goes after him around the corner. She asks him if he’s okay and he says he’s fine, it’s just he doesn’t like fireworks. She tells him he doesn’t have to be alone and they share ~a moment~ when she thinks he’s going to kiss her, but he doesn’t.

During their ladies-only flying club, Adelaide asks, “Fuck, Marry, Kill?” with Jacob, John, and Nancy from the Sheriff’s station

  * Adelaide: F - John, M - Nancy, K - Jacob
  * Kim: F - Jacob, M - Nancy, K - John
  * Joey: F - Nancy, M - Jacob, K - John
  * Rook: F - John, M - Jacob, K - Nancy (But only because at this point no one knows but she’s already F’d Jacob lol)




	2. trivia night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Hope County, Mondays are for trivia.

The Seeds had arrived in Hope County about two months ago and had been a thorn in Rook’s side ever since.

For one thing, they had opened their greasy spoon diner, Garden of Eatin’, across the street from her sandwich shop and the curiosity of a new place had driven her customers to seek out their  diner. She had hoped that her regulars would get bored with the food or find it lacking, but she had heard it was actually decent southern-style comfort food. When she had confessed one morning to her friend and loyal customer, Sharky, that the Seeds opening their diner was bad for business, he looked her dead in the eyes and told her he’d never leave her place for theirs.

“Fuck ‘em, chica. All a bunch of dicks, if you ask me.”  

That was two weeks ago. Now she watched Sharky sheepishly slink over to their diner from her shop’s window on Tuesdays and Thursdays when the new waitress Rachel was working. Word around town was that he tipped her exorbitantly – like a $20 tip on a $5 meal – which was a punch to the gut considering Sharky Boshaw hadn’t paid for _any_ of the sandwiches she had been giving him for the last year and a half.

And for another thing, they were beloved by half the town. They showed up to all sorts of _events_ – Nick’s Sunday barbeques,  Hope County Cougars baseball games, Trivia Night’s at the Spread Eagle. The problem was that the Seeds happened to be pleasant enough people so when she griped about them, her complaints fell on the deaf ears.

The worst thing and by far though? Every time they showed up to Trivia Night, they won. Up until they had arrived in Hope County, Rook had been the long-reigning champ. The loss in stature was a blow to her ego that she didn’t think she’d ever recover from.

So when Nick called her up Monday night begging her to come to the Spread Eagle for Trivia Night, she balked at the request. He and his wife, Kim, were the only two people who listened to her and sympathized with her about the Seeds. As members of her trivia team they were well aware of the Seeds’ domination with useless facts, so why bother losing for the fourth time in a row?

Nick just wouldn’t accept her explanation through text, so he called her up at the sandwich shop  and begged. When Rook still refused, he got his wife involved.

“Kim,” Nick said to his wife with his hand over the receiver, “Rook says she’s not coming.”

There was a lot of shuffling on the other end before Kim took the phone. “Rook, you _have_ to come. We don’t stand a chance if we’re down a person.”

The Ryes had no concept of speaker phone, so this is what talking with them was: a lot of switch offs as they passed the phone between themselves and for the next five minutes, that’s exactly what they did. Only when she capitulated did they stop badgering her and let her get back to work.

“See you at seven!”

 

* * *

 

 

Mondays had always been slow at her sandwich shop, and slow everywhere else in Hope County for that matter, but today was particularly brutal. To top it off, she spent the day counting the (admittedly small) number of cars parked in Garden of Eatin’s parking lot and it just so happened that at any given time she looked, it always outnumbered the number of customers she normally got on Mondays.

She was feeling bitter and bad for herself, and twice she made Wheaty, a college student who ran the cash register and was in charge of the music in the summer, change the music when it made her emotional. The first time she teared up, Adele’s _Hello_ played, and she had to institute a new rule: No Adele on Mondays. The second time she teared up, Lady Gaga’s _Grigio Girls_ played and she had to institute _another_ new rule: No Lady Gaga ever again.

Rook had watched the Seeds close up Garden of Eatin’ across the street – dragging the Monday specials sandwich board in, watering the white hanging flowers, locking the door – and she just didn’t have it in her heart to walk with them the short distance to the Spread Eagle or think it particularly wise given her mood.

She wandered over to the Spread Eagle when the coast was clear and arrived at about 7:15. Trivia Night always began at 8 pm, so she had time to socialize with friends and have a beer with her teammates. She was already two beers in by the time Trivia Night was just about to begin, but she wanted a third.

Rook got up from her spot at her team table and proceeded to the bar, winding through the crowd and greeting friends she had missed earlier. She came across Zip Kupka handing out his self-published, monthly newsletter on some alternative universe theory he had wherein all of Hope County was at war with one another and satisfyingly enough he had entrapped Garden of Eatin’ owner Joseph Seed into listening; Grace and Jess, sipping beers casually and talking about sharp-shooting; and Sharky and Hurk, together and decidedly _not sober_ , who let her know excitedly that Mayor Minkler had approached them about Fall’s End’s End of Summer Block Party fireworks. A couple of months out still, but a huge honor. She was happy for them and told them as much, but she confided that she was on a mission and she had to get a beer before trivia started.

Hurk called after her, “Give ‘em hell, amigo!”

Rook turned away from her friends and practically ran smack dab into Jacob Seed. He was at the bar ordering a drink for himself too and her stomach turned. He was the eldest Seed and the cook over at Garden of Eatin’. He was also the only one in the Seed family who had _never_ answered a question wrong at Trivia Night. In other words: her biggest competition.

Her blood boiled at the sight of him standing at the bar, _in her way_. Rook squared her shoulders and stalked up to the counter where Casey, Spread Eagle’s cook, and Gary, the bar’s proprietor,  were proffering drinks while Gary’s daughter, Mary May, prepared for Trivia Night.

Rook put her order in with Gary and caught sight of Jacob picking at his beer’s label and giving her a side-eye. Before she could stop herself, she turned to him.   

“Jacob, is it?” Rook asked, even though she knew exactly who he was.

He nodded, a confirmation. Their eyes locked on each other, anticipating the others’ response. They had never spoken to each other before, but she figured now was as good a time as any. Rook hesitated for just a moment, transfixed, like time had stopped and no one else existed in the bar but each other.

But she got over that real quick. She let her forced smile fall. “Your ass is grass, and I’m gonna mow it.”

Jacob blinked in surprise and tilted his head to the side like he didn’t understand what she had just said. He took a swig of his beer to pause and collect his thoughts and then looked down his nose at her. (And literally, looked down on her; the man was a fucking _giant_.)

“Rook, is it?” An amused grin stretched across his lips and he leaned in a little closer to tower over her, “You don’t even look like a woman who knows how to mow.”

There was a twinkle in his eyes that Rook just didn’t like to see. He was so sure of himself and just for a moment - a fleeting moment she would never to admit to in the light of day - she thought he might win again. Didn’t he see she had won three times before he even arrived in Hope County? Didn’t he know how good she was at trivia?

But no matter. For the first time in two months, she felt certain she could beat the Seeds at just about anything and her heart was soaring. She needed this win.

Rook picked up her beer, placed her money on the bar, and began to back away, her gaze never leaving his. She brought her hand up and swept her pointer finger across her neck and then pointed at him. _I’m going to kill you_.

 

* * *

  

It was a movie question that did the team in and it was Nick who let them down.

“As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!” Mary May asked, “Is a quote from which 1939 Hollywood movie?”

Nick Rye was the fastest at ringing the buzzer, but before anyone could stop him, he blurted out, “Everyone knows that’s from _The Man Who Came to Dinner_!”

Rook caught sight of Kim mouthing _The Man Who Came to Dinner???_ in slow-mo, like they were all in a car crash and could see the collision coming. Of course the answer was wrong, and everyone in the entire place but Nick knew it; he having somewhat of a difficult time with remembering what happens in movies. One time he told Rook that she and he were like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid from the movie of the same name, and Kim had to remind him that they both died in a shootout in the end to which he flippantly replied, “Nah.”

 _Nah_. As if the shootout wasn’t based on a _real event_.

“I’m sorry,” Mary May replied, “That’s incorrect. Team Garden of Eatin’, if you can answer this question correctly, you win tonight’s Trivia Night.”

The room was quiet and waiting with bated breath for their answer. Rook swiveled left to look at the team, and she discovered that Jacob was already looking directly at her with a wicked, _horrible_ , satisfied smile.

“I believe, Mary May,” he said, slowly dragging out Rook’s agony, “The movie is _Gone with the Wind_.”

The room descended into near chaos but all she could really focus on was her trivia team; Kim let out a yell of frustration, Nick began disputing the accuracy of Jacob’s answer, Jess and Larry sat in stunned silence, and Rook, poor over-confident, Rook, sat with her head in her hands. She would never live this one down, ever.

She stayed just like that for what seemed like a thousand years, until she felt a consolation clap on her upper back. When she looked up, Jacob Seed loomed over her for the second time that night.

“Better luck next time, Rook.”   

“Thanks,” she replied, icily.

He grinned again all smug, but he didn’t bother to stick around for her reaction. She supposed she should be grateful for that.

 

* * *

 

Rook woke up later than normal with an incredible hangover. She checked her phone to see the time and noticed she had purchased The Wizard of Oz’s soundtrack in her drunken stupor and had already listened to _Over the Rainbow_ 15 times (which, now that she thought about it, she vaguely remembered listening and sobbing to last night), but wasn’t prepared for what would come next.

She had to rush downstairs to her sandwich shop to open up and as she was unlocking the door to let Wheaty in, she noticed John Seed, youngest brother and host over at Garden of Eatin’, erasing the specials sandwich board and writing something new.

When he moved out of the way, Rook squinted to read.

 

TODAY’S SPECIALS:

MAC N’CHEESE, WHICH YELP USER PILOT_GUY_3 CALLED THE WATERIEST MAC N’CHEESE HE EVER HAD

CORNBREAD, WHICH YELP USER PAYBACKS_A_WICH CALLED “A CRUSTY ABOMINATION!”

 

She didn’t remember filling in the Yelp review, but it had to be her. She clapped her hand up to her mouth and started cackling.

Wheaty looked at the sandwich board, then at her, and back. He was confused, but catching on quick. “Is Nick PILOT_GUY_3?”

Rook nodded. He had to be.

“And you’re PAYBACKS_A_WICH, aren’t you?”

Rook didn’t respond to Wheaty except to say wistfully, “Seems like Nick really is the Sundance Kid to my Butch Cassidy.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS - I also cannot listen to Adele's "Hello" on Mondays, and I too purchased The Wizard of Oz soundtrack when I was drunk once, lmao.


End file.
